Eat My Words

Johanna Almstead:
For those of you who've been listening, you might've caught on that the inspiration behind this podcast is the amazing dinners I've shared with spectacular women in my life, and the fact that some of the most transformative conversations I have ever had have happened over food and wine with my friends. So as I prepare for each interview, I like to think about what I would feed them if they were coming to my dinner table.
For my guest today, I think I'm going to make some really good martinis. I have finally perfected my martini recipe just the way I like it, and I think my guest today will love it too. We're going to serve that with just some crudités, like good, yummy, crunchy veggies with yummy dips like baba ganoush and hummus, some good salty potato chips and some really good marinated olives.
For dinner, I think I'm going to do a mustard crusted salmon, roasted in the oven with some little buttery roasted potatoes and maybe some French green beans with almonds and shallots. I'm also going to make my famous kale salad with Parmesan and pine nuts. It is so good, and I know that she's going to love this one. So I've been lucky enough to share many meals with my guest today. And to be honest, we've solved some of the world's problems over those nights of soulful talk, laughter, and friendship.
We are going to talk about some tough stuff today, including the loss of a loved one. So if that doesn't feel good to you today, just skip this one and we'll see you on the next episode. For those of you staying, let's dig in. Hello, everyone and welcome to Eat My Words the podcast. Today is super special because I'm so lucky to have one of my oldest nearest and dearest friends with me today. We've known each other since we were 13 years old, and I moved to her school in January of our seventh grade year. She was cool in that east coast preppy way. She was wearing that navy and cream L.L. Bean ragg wool sweater and jeans and bluchers, and had the prettiest hair I'd ever seen. Still has the prettiest hair. Look at her hair.
Now nearly 30 years later, she is a force in the entertainment industry with her work as a music supervisor for incredible film and television projects like And Just Like That..., We Were the Lucky Ones, They Cloned Tyrone, The Mother and Baz Luhrmann's The Get Down for which she was awarded best song recording created for film and television by the Guild of Music Supervisors.
In 2013, she founded the Bonfire Collective, which emerged as a highly sought after music supervision house. It was eventually acquired by Issa Rae and her audio everywhere company, Raedio, and now she's currently the head of music supervision and creative sync at Raedio. She's a mom, she's a daughter, she's a sister. She's a loyal friend and a champion of artists and creatives.
Fun fact, she and I have froliced naked on a beach in Mallorca together. We have lived off yogurt, Greek salads, nightclubs, and white wine in Santorini, and we were roommates in New York City during college. Oh, the stories we could tell, we might talk for days.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I'm already crying.

Johanna Almstead:
Stephanie Diaz-Matos, welcome to Eat My Words.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Thank you.

Johanna Almstead:
You're crying.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I know. And congratulations on the launch of this venture.

Johanna Almstead:
Thank you.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I'm so excited to be a part of it. And yeah, this morning I was thinking about how we were just a little bit younger than the age Alana is now when we met.

Johanna Almstead:
Oh my God, yeah. Because she's 15?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
She's about to turn 15. Do not take away by two weeks of 14. My two weeks left for 14 will not be cut short.

Johanna Almstead:
She's 14.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
So she's 14 for a little bit longer, but it's very crazy to be living with this little person that you're aware that some of these friendships might be her friendship. If she's lucky.

Johanna Almstead:
Hopefully.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I mean, hopefully that they last as long as ours.

Johanna Almstead:
I know. It's wild. I think about that too. Especially now with Tillia being in middle school, I'm like, "Middle school is kind of where those friendships start to really cement."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, well, they fall apart and they come together in middle school. Yeah, that's right.

Johanna Almstead:
They fall apart again and then come together again.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yes.

Johanna Almstead:
That's one of the things I talk about with her all the time. The friend group talk. She's like, "This friend group..." I'm like, "You know this friend group's going to totally fall apart eventually, and then it's going to come back together as some other iteration of it. Don't worry, it's all going to be okay."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay, so we can talk about our daughters for a hundred years, but I feel like maybe our listeners don't want to listen to us talk about that forever. I want to talk about your work because I feel like there are lots of people who probably do not understand what you do, including me a little bit. I feel like I understand that you work in film and television. I understand you're in charge of the music, but I don't know exactly what that means. So can you give us dum-dums and the people listening who don't know what a music supervisor is, an overview of what you do and what your days look like and what that is all about?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah. I will say it is a very niche profession, and so it's completely understandable that there's a little bit of mystery/allure around it and that it's not uncommon that maybe you wouldn't know what I do, but also there's plenty of people that I work with that still don't know what I do, and I'm like, "We work together every day. This is what I do." So a music supervisor essentially for film and television is in charge of the music portion of a production.
So that's everything soup to nuts from creative to budget, and within a film project or a TV project, it really means that I'm the point person for the director and the producers on all things music. So starting with the script, I read the script and I have conversations about, "What do we want the music to accomplish? What world do we want to live in it?" And it's really my job to bring the resources and creative solutions to the project, and that's literally everything from, it's scripted, "Walks by a jazz trio in the park."
And so it's my job to be like, "Okay, we're walking by a jazz trio. What is the jazz trio playing?" I'm casting the jazz trio, I'm pre-recording the jazz trio. I'm interfacing with production to make sure that the jazz trio is hired and papered and on set. And then when you're in post and we're transitioning out of walking past the jazz trio in the park, and then they see the person that they love and this great song comes on, then it's also my job to be like, "Okay, well, are we spending money on this song? Do we need this to be affordable?" And I'm suggesting options as we go.
If there's a show that there's a character who wants to be a singer, then I'm commissioning the songwriters to write all those songs. I'm making sure the actor or actress is having the proper coaching and training to perform the songs. Sometimes they'll have an actor playing guitar and it's like, "Of course the actor says they can play guitar, but how well can they play guitar?" And then I have to get them coached to play guitar or bring in a hand double or a body double if they want to get the close up.

Johanna Almstead:
And that's you hiring the hand double or the body double? Holy moly. Okay.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It's truly a large scale oversight of every little piece of music within a show. And I think what's magical about music and magical about music and films is I think oftentimes people will watch a movie and they'll walk away feeling like, "Oh my God, that music was so amazing. Oh my God, that music made the show." But will they specifically be able to say, "It was this or it was that jazz trio, or it..." Maybe, but ultimately music impacts your emotion and what you want is people to walk away with that feeling of enhanced connection to the piece. And it's my job to deal with the devilish details about how we get you to that feeling of feeling like, "Wow, this was amazing."
And every day is different. Some days I'm dealing with musicians and recording sessions, and some days I'm dealing with producers freaking out about budget and directors who have to have something, and I have to figure out how to get it. And some days I'm just reading scripts and doing script breakdowns and catching up on budgets. A lot of days I'm dealing with a lot of people that want something yesterday.

Johanna Almstead:
I was going to ask, because it sounds like your work involves a lot of creative collaboration-

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
A lot.

Johanna Almstead:
... and a huge network. So those are two parts I want to talk about. The creative collaboration, which I feel like having known you for as long as I've known you, I feel like you've always been one of those people that's like a conduit for artists. You're able to understand an artist and then translate it to a non-artist. Talk to me a little bit about your philosophy when working with artists. How do you foster great collaboration? It sounds like there's a lot of collaboration in your work.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
There is a lot of collaboration. I think I love art and artists and musicians in particular, just ultimately I love them. So with that love comes a lot of patience and grace. And I get really excited at the beginning when it's all vision, like, "This is what we're going to do, this is the idea." And I buy into that. And I think because I'm a pretty non-judgmental person, I'm really able to connect with artists because to be an artist, to be a director, to be a musician, there's a certain amount of vulnerability that I feel is present when you're sharing something from within you to the world.
And I think it's pretty clear that I come in peace. And so I think that makes it easy to have conversations about dreams and what you want and whatever. And then I think because I'm not a trained musician in any way, and at first I used to be shy about that. But I do think that in some ways I have picked up enough being in enough recording sessions and being around enough musicians to understand their basic needs of communication, like how to translate what they're doing to a director or an editor who they're not musicians either.
So I'm pretty well-positioned to not be like... I don't overly get lost in the sauce of, "It should be these integers of chord progressions and yada yada yada."

Johanna Almstead:
You're not like, "You doing the violin. I'll do it for you."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, because I'm not going to impede on their talent. I have just enough to help them go from maybe they're classically trained and the director is not, and the director's like, "I don't know. It just doesn't feel right." I do have enough to say, "Well, maybe it doesn't feel right because it's the base, let's do that." Or, "I know that in other conversations they've been talking about wanting more energy, so how can we bring that into this piece?" And so I come in a very neutral, supportive, open space that allows for the multiple parties to connect and understand each other.
And again, it is a very niche profession. I appreciate that, for as long as I've known you, you've been good at that. It is like that weird thing that I have always really been super attracted to musicians and movies and music and stuff, but I wouldn't have necessarily put it together in this way. But this role does suit me in a lot of ways for those reasons.

Johanna Almstead:
So first of all, did you know you wanted to work in the music industry before you had this job?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No. I thought I was going to make documentary films, remember?

Johanna Almstead:
That's right.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Something with Spanish and travel and documentary filmmaking was the initial thing that I thought I was going to do. And then it was transferring to NYU and really doubling down on club culture, which had been percolating in high school. But I think the rave scene in Detroit was not it for me. I wanted to be back in New York and it was to go to film school yes, but really it was to be just back in the city and back out, back in the streets.

Johanna Almstead:
Back in the nightclub. Lady of the Night.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
I mean, it's interesting that you think about... It's funny to think about how formative the nightlife part of our lives when we were young led you to your career. That's wild if you think about that.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It is. It is. Especially because I look at kids now and I'm like, "We had so much hand-to-hand connection." Remember, we would go to any event that had free food or drinks. We were there.

Johanna Almstead:
Yes.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That's basically how we fed ourselves.

Johanna Almstead:
That's how we lived. And we were so cute.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
We were so cute. And I remember my friend Suyeon, who you remember just how I would work every guest list and I would be like, "Okay." I would be getting 10 people on the list a night. And you're just mixing and mingling and meeting people, and one thing leads to the next. And that's how things happened. I think it was a great time for us because we could be out, but there was no... What happened in the club stayed in the club. It was not...

Johanna Almstead:
It was very different. There was no social media, there were no cell phones, there were no cameras.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
And you didn't have to be... I mean, I'll never forget, you're like, "You dress like a Spice Girl." Did I think I was dressing like a Spice Girl? No, but I was out and I was completely like, "This is great. This works." It just wasn't perfectly curated. I don't even think the events that we were going to, that we were taking all the food were perfectly curated. It was just a little bit more new for everyone.

Johanna Almstead:
Well, and I think it was just a little more, I hate to use this word because it's so overused, but authentic in a way that was, people were just doing their thing. They weren't doing it for the lens of Instagram or they weren't doing it for the lens of cameras and paparazzi. It was like people were throwing events, people were doing parties, we were dressing like crazy people. We were sharing one vintage slip between the three of us as roommates.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
And then the Todd Oldham shell top. Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Yes, yes. So guys, listeners, we were roommates and stuff. Steph and I were roommates for several years, and we had sometimes a third, usually a third. Sometimes it was a guy, sometimes girls. But one of us would splurge on an item. Like the Todd Oldham top was designer. That was major. And then we would share it. And then I was remembering how we each, between the three of us, at one point we had... You and I had bought them when we were studying abroad, you had bought the Prada nylon backpack, the little tiny one. I had bought the D&G one, the Dolce & Gabbana one, little nylon backpack. And then was it you or was it Louise who had the original Kate Spade black nylon bag that was like the grownup bag? Was that you?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It might have been me because I had that brief stint working at Kate Spade.

Johanna Almstead:
Yes. I think that must've been how you got that. And so we had these three designer bags, and we would basically just trade them depending on who had what meeting or work thing or party or event or whatever. And it was-

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I do want to say going back to the music supervision thing, I remember that brief stint at Kate Spade, I was told that I was not a good salesperson. I had to hype up the customer more. The woman was like, "You really need to remind them that the bag looks great and they look great, and all of that stuff." And I was like, "Oh. Oh, okay." It was so not intuitive for me to just do that. And then I also had that stint at Bar Six as a waitress.

Johanna Almstead:
I was just going to say, your two-day stint as a waitress.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I was so terrible at that. But once I got my first job at MTV and I was at MTV and I was working on this little electronic music video mix show that aired at 4:00 in the morning. That was super important to me and probably had a hundred viewers total. But doors started opening one after the other after the other. And it's probably because I was in a place that it was like, "I make sense here." Whereas these other things, it was very... The universe was like-

Johanna Almstead:
"Yeah, move on. Let's just move on. You don't need to do that."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
"Not here."

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah. And I think that that's important. I think for people who are listening, try and try again. You will find your groove. I mean, I think about that when I finally got to fashion school, I think about high school and I was like, "It was fine." But I never really felt like myself. I did the things I was supposed to do. I did okay because I had to, my parents really felt strongly about that. But I remember getting to fashion school and being like, "Yes, this is what I'm doing." And I was good at it and it made sense to me and I was excited about it, and all of a sudden it just clicked. And I think there's something to be said for, quickly move on from something that doesn't click. It's okay.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
100%.

Johanna Almstead:
Did you do one day as a waitress or two? I feel like it's maybe two shifts.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I think it was a two-week onboarding and then I lasted literally two shifts because it was just like not right.

Johanna Almstead:
I think it was two shifts.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
And that's the other thing, particularly when you're young, there's no need to double down and make it work for you. Just move on and find something else. The stakes are so much lower and there's really no shame in just putting yourself out there. And honestly, that experience, I feel like as you evolve and now your career is so long, and I have so many years under my belt, I have had to learn how to sell myself. I have had to develop that skill. And I think at that age, 18, 19, 20, 21, I wasn't ready for that. It wasn't intuitive. I didn't see the value, et cetera, et cetera.
Now I understand sales a little bit more from a lens of like, "Oh, if I want to do good work and I want to be on good projects, then I have to be able to go out there and tell people why I love doing what I do and why we should work together." So it's a different approach and there's an understanding that if I want to keep working, then I have to lean into it a little bit. But at that time, it was so clear that that was not the path for me. The door shut quickly in my face and it's okay.

Johanna Almstead:
Well, and it's funny because I think about... I don't remember the Kate Spade thing as well as I remember the restaurant thing, but I remember your attitude about it at the time was so great. You were like, "Yeah, I got fired." It was great. And I was so terrified of getting fired. I was so terrified of getting in trouble. I was so terrified of not doing a good job. And I remember you were just sort of like, "Yeah, it didn't work for me." And I was really in awe of you and jealous that you were able to let it roll off your back and that somewhere inside of you, you had a knowing that it was okay, you didn't have to be a waitress. It was going to be all right.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I had the job at the psych hospital, remember?

Johanna Almstead:
Oh, I forgot about that.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I worked with my mom at St. Vincent's Hospital. So the waitressing was to get me out of the psych hospital, and at the end of the day when it didn't work out, I was like, "I'll just go back to the psych hospital." And honestly, the psych hospital really puts life into perspective and has helped me deal with a billion personalities that I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Johanna Almstead:
I was going to say it's probably was really good training ground for big personalities and tricky demands.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, and also perspective and also the compassion that I feel like and the non-judgmental. All of these things that are just baseline things for me were developed there. And also I got to see my mom working, and-

Johanna Almstead:
I was going to say your mom also, who is the epitome of a lot of those same qualities, right?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yes. Well, she is and she isn't. But on her best days, when she is, I remember being like, "Oh, she talks to these kids exactly like she talks to us at home." The same kind of like, "What are you doing? Get over here. Pull yourself together." All of that was exactly the same. So yeah, I think that-

Johanna Almstead:
That's funny.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
... it was easy to be like, "Okay, I'm going to let go of this." Because I had something that I could... It was shift work so I could take a shift here and there as needed and pay my bills. We were paying our bills at a young age, Jo.

Johanna Almstead:
I know, we were. We were. I think about that all the time. Now as a parent, we were working, we had many jobs, so many jobs.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
You didn't mention that we worked together at the Pelham Picture House as well.

Johanna Almstead:
Oh my God, I did not mention that. Yes. So Stephanie and I worked together at the Pelham Picture House, which is kind of a amazing little institution, which is a very old movie theater that was in our town. And during high school, we worked four shifts a week, three or four shifts a week I feel like on weeknights. And we would work the snack bar and sometimes to work the ticket booth. I didn't get to work the ticket booth very often. It was usually the snack bar, drank our body weight in soda.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I will say that's another thing when people are like, "Well, how did you end up?" And I'm like, "I was sitting in a movie theater four nights a week in high school doing this job." Because again, my family has no ties to the entertainment industry at all, but the exposure was there through this funny little job that we had in this really unique... it truly is a unique institution. It's a single one screen theater in a town, and it still exists. I think now it's a historic site. And they actually gave me an award two years ago, and I talked about-

Johanna Almstead:
No way. Oh yes, I knew that.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
... how special it was to have a job in high school where I was exposed to movies, but also we had time to just sit and talk smack on that sofa.

Johanna Almstead:
Same as me.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
We had time to dream while getting paid. We had time to just decompress and be ourselves, but also get paid.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah. It's funny you say that, that we had time to dream because I think about our lives as roommates. Once we were out of high school and into college and you were back in New York, and even when we were traveling and when we were both studying abroad, and I was a stowaway apartment in Barcelona, we dreamt. I think that was part of what we did as friends, was talk about our dreams and talk about what we wanted our lives to be like and who we were going to marry, and what were our careers going to be like. We weren't strategic, we were just shooting the shit.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It's so important. And I feel like when you talk about going to fashion school, I knew that's where you belonged, just from all of out-

Johanna Almstead:
Really?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, for sure. It wasn't a surprise to me at all. And I think that you're right, it wasn't strategic. We did not have a plan, but there was aspects of... There was such a fake it until you make it with us, with our little designer backpacks, trotting through Europe, believing that we were the hottest shit with our boxed wine. But we were really enjoying every minute.
And you especially, one of your strengths was making everything beautiful, really making everything special. So even if we had boxed wine, you were like, "We're going to have it outside on the patio and overlook the thing and da da da da." So you could make this little nothing thing feel really special and magical. And I think that that's what's fun about hanging out with you and Louise and just living our fantasy life on a budget.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, on a budget. I was thinking about how, I think... If I remember correctly, I think I have the numbers correctly. So I went to visit you in Barcelona. It was like the end of our... We had both studied abroad for a semester, and I went to visit you in Barcelona. And then we, from there, went to Mallorca and then went to the Greek islands all in one trip, right?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I think so, yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay. I believe, if I remember it correctly, we had $400 between the two of us to get us through at least two weeks. I think it was two weeks of getting from Barcelona to Mallorca, Mallorca to Santorini. And then we each had to get ourselves back. I had to get myself back to Rome, and you had to get yourself back to Barcelona to get home. I remember at one point calling my brother because my parents were done. They were like, "You don't get any more money." I think at one point I called my brother and he was like, "Yeah, I guess I could send you $25." But we fucking did it, man. And we lived a really fun life. We were gallivanting through Mallorca on nude beaches. We grocery shopped and had our boxed wine on the terrace in Mallorca. And then we got to Greece and you were the mastermind budgeter of our food. I remember you would go in the morning and you would get our yogurt and I think maybe a bread or something.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I feel like we lived off of feta cheese, tomato and yogurt.

Johanna Almstead:
And yogurt. And then we would schmooze. Not trying to be creepy, but I feel like now in hindsight it was a little creepy. But we would make friends usually with people, and they would end up buying us dinner. You and I would split an entree of a grilled fish and a salad with feta cheese and then some delicious Greek wine that was probably 2 cents. And we lived it up and it was great. And I think about that now. And I think about, God, first of all, "Would I ever let my kids go gallivanting around Europe with only $400 and no cell phone?" I mean nothing. We were just doing it.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
The no cell phone thing is wild now.

Johanna Almstead:
Wild.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I feel like we have to let them do it. I feel like, I don't know, it's interesting because its like, the world feels so unsafe. It feels so much more unsafe than when we were growing up. But I also feel like I trust we're raising smart kids and worldly kids. Our kids have seen... they've been on trips that we never went on.

Johanna Almstead:
That's true. But would you really be able to cut her off if she was like, "Mom, I'm in Mallorca. I still have to get back to Barcelona and I have no more money"? My parents were like, "No, you're done. Figure it out." Could you do that?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No, mine were too. I mean, I feel like I have to get more disciplined with it.

Johanna Almstead:
Me too.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Because now I have a teenager in New York City and I'm like, "No." And then she's Ubering home and I'm like, "Okay."

Johanna Almstead:
She's like, "I'm going to Uber and stop at Starbucks, then fine. Then I'm home."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
So I do feel like that is a goal of mine through the next three years is to start... I said to her last week, I was like, "You should start thinking about what job you're going to have." And I was happy she had thought about it.

Johanna Almstead:
Oh, that's good.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It's Starbucks obviously, so she could get free pink drinks or whatever, and Alana loves a uniform. That's the answer. Anything that has anything that's a costume, she's like, "Yeah, of course." So I did have that conversation. So I'm working towards that goal of being able to be like, "You're on your own, kid."

Johanna Almstead:
And this summer she'll have the job?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No, she goes to summer camp. No.

Johanna Almstead:
She goes to a super expensive summer camp, and then she'll come back and have to get a job for a weekend.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Exactly. It's like summer camp and-

Johanna Almstead:
You lay down the law there, Steph. Go ahead, lay down that law. Oh God.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I see the importance now, and I acknowledge that I have to undo some of the coddling that I've done, but I see it. And that's step one.

Johanna Almstead:
Right, acknowledgement. Step one is acknowledging.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay, I want to go back to your job for one second because I also think this is interesting, this conversation, because part of what I always say to people, people call me and they want advice about the industry or whatever, and I'm always like, you got to just work. You have to just get a job, get a job in the place you want to be. It doesn't even have to be... For me, it's more like geographically. If you want to work in Hollywood, get to Hollywood, go scrub toilets in Hollywood, go be a waitress in Hollywood, but get to Hollywood.
If you want to be in the New York fashion scene, then get to New York. Don't stay in Ohio thinking you need to do it. And part of that is interesting because I think some of the jobs that made me really good at my fashion PR job were not fashion PR jobs at all. They were waitressing jobs and they were being the door girl at the VIP room at the park. Those were the ones that gave me some of the skills that I used more often than something else. So I do think it's interesting about just get the job, Starbucks's great. That job might be something that teaches her something that she'll use later. So I want to talk back to your job for one second. What's the best part about your job as a music supervisor?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I feel like there's a lot of great things. The best part for me is always the beginning. And it's that part when you're just... the sky's limit and it's all ideas and you're not worried about budget, and you're just like... When I get a script and I read the script and I'm scribbling down music notes because the script speaks to me that much and I've got song ideas and whatever. To me, the beginning is the best part. And then there's so many great things along the way. I love being in a recording session and hanging out in a studio all day. Those are my favorite parts.
And then when I work on a project and there's enough space between working on it and it coming out, I do like to... Actually, I'm fortunate in the past year, enough projects that have come out that I actually like watching them when they're on TV. I just did a show called Survival of the Thickest, and it's starring Michelle Buteau. And it's so funny and it's so colorful, and it's just so joyful, and I am so happy to be a part of it. And then when I watch it back, I'm like... So many fun memories of when we pick that song or we [inaudible 00:33:17]

Johanna Almstead:
You're watching it just as a consumer now?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah. And I'm watching it as a consumer and I'm like, "Oh, this show is so fun and funny." But yeah, I'm like, "Oh, it worked out. We didn't get this song, but we are using this song. And I even forgot what that other song was." It's great. And so it's like a nice bookend. There's a lot of gunk in the middle that you hate your life and you're like, "This is never going to end and no one's ever going to be happy. We're over budget, blah, blah, blah." But the beginning is the best when it's all possibility and the end when you're like, "It all worked out." Those are probably the two favorite things.

Johanna Almstead:
So what is the worst part of the job? What's the worst part of the gunk in the middle?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
There's a lot more legal and negotiations than you would think. And oftentimes there's conflicting... There comes a point in the process, not all the time, but sometimes when it's getting gunky. There comes a point in the process where the studio might want something that the director doesn't want. And you're the pawn that everybody's using-

Johanna Almstead:
You're in the middle.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
... to try and get what they want. And that can be tough because then you find yourself on the phone all day talking people off ledges and trying to discern between the two conflicting things. I always go back to story, and I always use my own internal compass of like, "Well, what's really best for story? Is the studio really over asking or are they really giving a good note? Does the director need to be softly led this way?" Figuring out how to get everybody to the end game that can get really, really tough.
And then there's a lot of negotiations on the music side, like the song licensing side where you're just... to get one song cleared, you might have to deal with five different parties or 15 different parties. It truly could be an infinite number of clearances and then people not responding and you're like, "The song's not cleared because I'm still looking for 2% of this publishing and haven't gotten this answer." Or somebody wants money and it's making everything else a mess. That general house of cards can get really gunky.
And then there's definitely times where you're like, "I feel like I've watched the scene a billion times and I have nothing left to give. I have no more ideas for you, but you've got to think of something." And that's always a tough place to be, but the negotiations, the legal stuff can really be a drag.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, it's funny. I feel like going back to that time, you have to tap into that same part of you that sat on the rooftops and dreamt, right? When you need to find more ideas, it's like you got to go back and be like, "Okay, got to go back to the well." Where the well's feeling really dry.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Usually I have to go to sleep, truly. Usually I'm like, "I just need a good night's sleep. And then I'll wake up refreshed and I will have an idea, I promise, but I have to go to sleep."

Johanna Almstead:
"Shut it down." That's what I say, "Shut it down." I always think of it, you know those circuit breaker things that they shut and it's like [inaudible 00:36:29], and everything shuts. I'm like, "That's my brain, and that's what needs to shut down. And then tomorrow morning we're going to turn it back on and there's going to be new stuff there."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yep.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It's like reboot.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, total reboot. Okay. So I want to change gears a little bit because I think it's important for our listeners to hear what else was happening in your life while you were building this amazing career. There's a pretty pivotal and life-changing things that happened in 2013 when you were in your late 30s, married to the love of your life, had a daughter who was four, right?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No, Alana was two.

Johanna Almstead:
She was two? Oh.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
She was two.

Johanna Almstead:
God. You're working in this industry. You're climbing the career ladder. You're doing all the things, moving and shaking, faking it till you make it, but also making it. You suffered an incredible and devastating loss. Your husband, Scott, who was also a musician and somebody who you... I think your marriage in many ways prepared you for your job because you worked as someone who was supportive of him and a wizard around him and his music and his craft, passed away suddenly. He passed away in the middle of the night, with no previous illness. No one knew anything that happened. So you were in complete and utter shock and suddenly you were a single mom with zero safety net and you were grieving the love of your life.
So can you talk to me a little bit about that time and, first of all, how you went on, how you got out of bed, and then how it informed your work, your life as a mother, what did that... I obviously know a little bit about it, but I think that for our listeners who have gone through anything similar, who have suffered any kind of loss to see you on the flip side of it now with this beautiful daughter of yours and this beautiful career and this beautiful mental health that you have, I think I would like to, if it's okay with you, talk a little bit about what happened in-between.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah. When you say, I had no safety net, that's not exactly true because I always refer to you and Louise and all the friends and all the family who showed up, and I don't even know how-

Johanna Almstead:
Slept on your floor.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
... as the invisible safety net. Yeah. Literally as the invisible safety net. Scott went to bed with a headache and we called the doctor and he was like, "Just go to bed and make an appointment with the ENT in the morning." And when I went downstairs to make the call to the ENT to get the appointment for that day, and then when I went back upstairs to tell him that I got the appointment, he was gone.
And I definitely have a black curtain in my brain of what happened that night and were there signs in the night that I ignored. I honestly don't know, but it was so unthinkable, and I completely... There's just the shock and the devastation. And I mean, I don't even know how the ambulance got there is basically how devastating it was.
But within a matter of moments, his brother was at the house, our nanny at the time was at the house, and his dad and stepmom were there. I mean, it was unbelievable the amount of love and support that just... I think Louise was there first night and slept in bed with me. I don't even know how anyone knew because I was shut down completely. I don't even remember being able to speak.
And before this happened, I had made a decision to leave a company that I had started with Randy Poster, who's the most established, revered music supervisor. And I started a company with him. And I had been working on it for five years and it was successful, but when I got pregnant, it was clear that me being a mom in that setting wasn't going to work. It was a company full of men who all had wives and all had kids, but I was the first pregnant person in the organization.

Johanna Almstead:
And they weren't getting the call from the school to pick them up when they were sick or anything, there was somebody else doing that for them.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No, no. And when I would leave at seven o'clock when Alana was a newborn, it was like, "Oh, half day today." It was just... When I had built this company for five years and had never taken a vacation or a day off, and then I wanted three months maternity, and they were like, "Well, you can have six weeks." And I was like, "Okay, well, I'm just going to add the six weeks that I've never taken." And just took it.
And at the time when I was pregnant, the doctor actually ended up pulling me out of work. I had to get medical leave because the stress of the job was just so insane. And she looked at me and Scott one day and she's like, "I see a lot of couples. I see a lot of people. The problem isn't your relationship. This is love." She's like, "What is it?" And Scott was like, "It's her job."
And then he unloaded to her about, "She's up at 4:00 in the morning calling China and da da da da da." And she was like, "You're done." And she wrote a doctor's note and she was like, "You're done." And she was like, "Scott, you can go to the office and collect the things, but you're now a high-risk pregnancy." And I had to go be monitored all the time and all this stuff. So all of that's to say that I took another job. I took a corporate job at an ad agency full of angels, basically. Truly the loveliest, most compassionate group of producers, the head of the music department, the head of the broadcast production department.
I had been there about a year and this had happened, and they also showed up. The amount of people who showed up was just beyond comprehension, truly. And they basically said, "Take whatever time you need." And they kept me on salary. And the head of the music department was like, "I'm not even telling you what our bereavement policy is, just do what you need to do. Just take whatever time you need." And I needed a lot of time. I needed a lot of time. I was a puddle on the sofa, eating brownies, watching Wendy Williams completely just spaced out.
And I remember saying to you, "How am I going to go on?" And then at that moment, Alana needed help in the potty or something, and she was like, "Mommy." And as a little invisible string, I just, on autopilot, went and you were like, "That's how you're going to go on." And I think that the community that showed up, the therapy, quite frankly, the therapy and getting on antidepressants helped hugely. And the fact that I had to work, I had to. There was no life insurance, there was no nothing. So I had to work and I had to make it work. And I would always say, "Well, I don't have any choice."
And my therapist would be like, "You actually do have a choice." I wasn't drawn to any other choice other than trying to make it work. And truly Lisette coming to live with us was hugely helpful. Then Glenn and Kelly came to live with us.

Johanna Almstead:
For the people who are listening, it's one of your best friends. And then Scott's brother and his wife came and lived with you at different times.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yes, at different times. But there was-

Johanna Almstead:
And helped you kind of raise Alana.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, it was like an invisible safety net that came and helped manage the house and Alana, and made her feel loved and supported and made me feel loved and supported. But I was able to eventually go back to work. I had a false start with mcgarrybowen. I went back and then I was like... so could not connect, could not relate. And I just basically was like, "I tried, but I can't." And so I went back home and I was depressed for a little bit longer. And then I got back into work at mcgarrybowen.
And then when I was there, a producer of a film that I had been working on when Scott died, reached out about a documentary project or something, and I was like, "This feels like something that's like..." I don't even remember what it is now, but it felt at the time like, "This is a way for me do a little film project that maybe is about something good and it'll be good for me to do something that's good for the world, but also for me."
And so I took that project and then these little projects kept coming my way as I was at mcgarrybowen. And I had always told the team at the ad agency that I would do this, but that I needed to be able to do film and television work on the side. And so as I got back to work, I was doing the ad agency stuff, but I was taking these projects here and there. And then somehow, I don't fully remember how this happened, but I had a director that I had worked with before that had a project set up at Fox and it required me to be in front of some people at Fox. And his movie never went all the way.
But in that process, the music supervisor who's Baz Luhrmann's music supervisor, I met him and he had taken this job at Fox, so he wasn't able to do Baz's next project. So I was on vacation in Nicaragua and I was so proud of myself because I had paid for this beautiful vacation for Alana and I brought with set. And I remember just getting to this place and being like, "I cannot believe I did this. I cannot believe that we're here and I'm paying for this. And it's magical." And just like, "Oh." I just had been clawing and clawing and grinding and grinding, and now I'm here.

Johanna Almstead:
And this is how long after Scott had passed?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Probably two years, maybe, maybe three. I was on a suspension bridge walking back to my room and the phone rang, and it was Baz's former music supervisor. And he was like, "Where are you? I would really love for you to meet Baz about this project." And I was like, "Well, I'm in Nicaragua, literally on a suspension bridge."

Johanna Almstead:
I'm on a suspension bridge in Nicaragua.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
In Nicaragua. I was like, "But I'll be home in a week." And he made a meeting for me to meet Baz, pretty much the moment I got off the airplane. I feel like I showed up to that meeting with still sand in my shoes. And it was one of these things where it's like they weren't going to share a script with me. There was nothing. And I went from the plane to this meeting and this was the get down and it was about the birth of hip hop. And I walk into this space in Tribeca, and Baz has this huge wall of the disco era and then the early days of hip hop and all of this stuff.
And Scott was a DJ and his earliest influences were Grandmaster Flash and Kool Herc and Afrika Bambaataa and all of this stuff. And he had all of Scott's heroes on the wall. And all of the lore and stories that Scott had told me about and whatever, it was just all on the wall. So I was able to have this conversation with Baz that was just very locked in, and that's when I just felt like... I often feel like Scott's an angel pitching from the heavens, these moments and these opportunities.
And that project ended up being pivotal in my career, I think it was... Now I look back on it and I'm like, it's hard. I was not home a lot during that time. And Alana was home with Tia Lisi, she didn't have a dad, and mommy wasn't home. And she was little. She was 3, 4, 5 years old, and those are formative years. And I think that we're just now starting to pull apart her and I, how that landed on her, how it landed with me. So it wasn't like everything was great, but everything was with love and with purpose, and I had to make many decisions.
And I was acutely aware that I was like, "I'm making these decisions because I have her and it's just me. So many decisions would be different if I was in partnership with Scott or someone else. So many decisions. But that's not where I'm at." That wasn't the reality. So I did the best that I could with the reality that I was living, and I think there were bruises and bumps along the way, but at the end of the day, I feel like Alana and I just love each other so much, but I do think about this time that launched my career, but also was a huge sacrifice at home.
So now as Alana is a teenager, and I see... It's funny, parenting just doesn't come with a guidebook. I mean, I guess there are books. I haven't read any of them. But now I'm like-

Johanna Almstead:
Well, there's usually not one for like, "Hey, when the love of your life dies in the middle of the night and you have a two-year-old, here's the guidebook. And you're building your career and Baz Luhrmann calls."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
There's no guidebook for that. That's the one you could write.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That is the one that I could write. And there's so many anomalies about my career and my life that I'm like, "I don't think people should look at me as like, 'Oh, this is how you do it.'" Because most music supervisors are in LA. I chose to stay in New York so that we could be close to family. Alana's love for family is so much stronger, sorry mom and brothers, than mine ever was. But because of her, I now love and appreciate my family in this whole new way.
So I mean, there's projects that I used to be like, "I want that project. Damn, I should have gotten that project." But now I'm like, "I accept that the projects that I get are meant for me, and there's a reality to I can't move to London and do Wicked for two years." I mean I could, but that's not a choice I want to make. I want Alana to be grounded near family and going to a school every day.

Johanna Almstead:
And you want to be with her.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That's the choice that I'm... And I want to be with her. When I got to a point in my career where I was like, "Okay." Pre-pandemic, I had an office in Soho that I loved, and I had a colleague that was working with me, and then she got pregnant and I was doing all this great work and I was proud of the work that I was doing. But now my colleague Sarah, she's pregnant and she's building her family and she's having a house and I'm like, "This is getting to be a lot. I've got mine, now she's got hers. This career is so niche and I really just would love to be part of something bigger."
And my agent was UTA and Issa at the time was represented by UTA. So when I told my agent that I was looking to do something that I could build out a music library or just do something that there's more IP and ownership and whatnot, Issa at the same time was starting to see that she wanted to do a music company. So they played matchmaker. And the decision to be acquired by Raedio really was me going, "I don't need to do it all. I don't want to do it all."

Johanna Almstead:
I can't do it all really, also.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, I would like to do what I do, but not have to be responsible and think about every single thing, payroll, insurance, yada, yada, yada. So I was ready for partnership again. And then when the pandemic hit, I signed my contract with Raedio, and then it was the pandemic. And then every project that I had slated for that year, the first year that I was like, "I know everything that I'm doing for the rest of the year," went away. But now I was on payroll.

Johanna Almstead:
And you actually had a true safety net.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yes. So I'm eternally grateful. At the time when I decided to pivot, I shed a lot of tears, I felt I was giving up my independence and all these things, and I shed a lot of tears over it. But ultimately that was a decision that I made because I was like, "This is the reality that I'm living in, and ultimately it's going to make my life better." I got to stay in New York, which is huge. A lot of offers that I get require moving across the country, and I just wasn't, and I'm still not ready to do that. It's like the safety net that we have here of friends and family. When I started to cost out, like, "Well-"

Johanna Almstead:
We did this together. I remember this. We sat and did this. Where there's one particular offer, I won't say who it was from, but where we literally started putting numbers of like, "Okay, if this family member isn't there, that means you're paying someone to do this. If this family member isn't there, you're paying someone to do this." And we put together a giant number and we're like, "You cannot move to LA for this job for less than this amount." I remember that.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah. And it's a huge amount.

Johanna Almstead:
It's a huge amount.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
You're like, "Oh my God, in what world did I ever think I would be turning down these large numbers?" But there's no amount of money that would replace the access to family that an only child with an only parent has. That's just basically what it comes down to. It's a gift. And I often think about, and I was trying to explain this to my mom, and I'm going to find the words to do this properly, but it's wild to me that Scott and I were together for 17 years. We met when I was 21 or 22, and he hasn't been on this plane for 12 years, maybe 13.
And my life is still so full of his fingerprints and forever will be. There are not... The love that we had will for sure sustain my lifetime. I mean, down to, I converted to Judaism. I raised my daughter Jewish. When I think about how much my soul is full that I have this belief system that truly serves me. I mean, I was raised Catholic, like church Sunday Catholic. And I am fully both feet in on this whole other religion.

Johanna Almstead:
As your friend, I've watched you be committed to keeping some of those super strong ties that started with Scott and the traditions alive and your Shabbat dinners and watching Alana get bat mitzvahed was... I have goosebumps thinking about it. It was such a major moment, I felt like for you as a mother and for you as a partner to Scott, when you did it. You had promised him that you were going to raise for Jewish, and she was fucking stunning and gorgeous and eloquent.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
She crushed it.

Johanna Almstead:
And she was amazing. And you were amazing. And I think there are a lot of other people who might not have made those same decisions. You might've chosen a different path. And I think-

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No, apparently statistically in these situations, more often than not, the widowed partner loses connection with their partner's family.

Johanna Almstead:
I would think.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Apparently statistically that's the vibe.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, that makes sense.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That is not the case. I fully inherited all the chaos and all of the complexities of his family, and in the beginning it was quite difficult to be exposed to it all directly. When you're-

Johanna Almstead:
Without him as the buffer.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, without him as the buffer. Not that he was much of a buffer. There was a lot he couldn't deal with about his family, so he just didn't deal. But then you as the good wife, show up and you broker things, but you're still in this broker arrangement. And then it's all on me.
And in addition to just his family, his parents separated and they both remarried. And then I inherited the most fantastic sister-in-law and her family on that side, and his brother and he remarried and now they have a family on that side. So there's a pretty extensive network on that side. And I love them as my own, as if they raise me in some ways.
And in many ways, they've raised Alana. And I truly made so many decisions based on, I don't know, they were going to stay. I mean, my family is difficult personalities, his family... Or big personalities or just a lot of personality.

Johanna Almstead:
There's a lot on both sides.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
On both sides. And there were many times when people were like, "Just say no and whatever." And you're like, "I can say no. It doesn't mean they're going to hear the no.

Johanna Almstead:
Actually it doesn't work on either side-

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It's like, "I can say whatever."

Johanna Almstead:
... on your side or the other side.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No, but I'm so grateful and I think about how there's so much of his fingerprints on everything all the time, and it still does at all come close to having him here. I say to Alana all the time, it's like, "It breaks my heart that you don't have him here just filling your brain with..." Because he was like a walking encyclopedia of music and just facts, and I'm not that way. So I know what she's missing, but I also know there's still a lot around her and a lot in her.
But I feel like I completely lost track of what the question was, but I feel like those are the milestones. This tragedy happened. mcgarrybowen safety net, The Get Down launched my own company, and then I joined forces with Raedio. And that gets us to today, and the where I am today is really thinking about, "I have to get this kid out the door." Ready to launch, we say.

Johanna Almstead:
In pre-launch mode.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
So this also brings us to today, and can we talk a little bit about your romantic life now, because it's been a long time and now you actually have a romantic life again, right? You're dating.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I mean, kind of. Yes, I'm dating. It's so funny because when I was dating, which it took me a long time to start dating, I had never dated.

Johanna Almstead:
Right.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I mean, I basically-

Johanna Almstead:
As an adult.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
... met Scott. I met Scott, and that was it. And when you guys were all dating and truly just had boyfriends and then broke up.

Johanna Almstead:
Making terrible decisions.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
And you were making terrible decisions, I was with Scott, and I met Scott when I was your roommate. That's how far back it goes. So I remember it took several years for me to start dating and then in those several years for me to start dating, then it was like, "Well, now there's apps." And I'm like, "What?" I hate social media. I don't like having my picture taken. I'm the biggest Luddite. It was so hugely problematic for me, and I didn't understand that you could just... I was like, "Doesn't everybody want to be in this intense partnership where you're completely a mind meld. And you meet someone once and you're then like, 'Okay, yes, to merging lives?'" It truly was news to me that that is not how the world works.

Johanna Almstead:
And that most people actually don't want that right out of the bat.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Truly news to me. And boy did I get some whiplash and boy was I confused. And I'm sure there's a bunch of guys who were like, "That girl's crazy." And they're not wrong. But I remember being like, "I am living life in reverse." There's something very real about being widowed, that you're just out of step with your peers. You've experienced devastating loss, and now I'm going in reverse. Now I'm dating and not just dating, I'm learning what the concept of dating even means. And eventually I got to a place where I was doing it and I was having fun with it and not taking it too seriously.
And I'm a pretty introverted, but also serious thinker person. And in the trajectory of our grief journey, I will say we've taken the slow route. I'm just a super protective mom, and I didn't do any quick big moves, big new love. It's been a very slow evolution of acceptance and understanding and growth, and it's been incredibly one step at a time. I became someone who went from not looking before I leaped to just trying to take it one step at a time, and be aware of my surroundings and make decisions that-

Johanna Almstead:
And not leaping for a while.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah. And not leaping for a while, and not just saying yes to say yes. A lot of when I was younger, I would just say.... The door opened. I would walk through it yes to say yes. Now I'm a little bit more careful.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, strategic.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
And that's new for me. Careful, strategic. We call it growth.

Johanna Almstead:
Thoughtful. I mean, I think you really have to think hard now about these decisions because you've worked so hard to architect a life for yourself and for Alana that feels okay and stable. And so any move that rattles that scaffolding is like you got to really think hard about it.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, it's true. And I definitely, I didn't realize how much more they need you when they're teenagers, which is exactly the time where they're like, "I don't want you. I don't need you. Get away from me." But the truth is they do, and I'm so grateful that I work from home now. We have the little bedroom that used to be every person who lived with us and helped raise Alana, lived in that room. And now it's my office, and it's a lifesaver situation because more often than not now I'm able to be here when she gets home and she dumps whatever. You have to be around to catch the details.

Johanna Almstead:
To catch the things. I know. I was just saying this to my husband the other day. I heard something happened in the car ride home from school and followed up on it later, and it turned out to be a really, really big thing. And I said to Michael, "This is why I have to work from home, this moment right now. If somebody else had picked her up, they wouldn't have thought to tell me that. They wouldn't have been like, 'She said this thing in the car.' They wouldn't have thought to follow up on it." It is something about physically being there, and I think in this day and age, it's so, so fucking hard to try to do that and actually also have a career for yourself as a mother, because you can't be in two places at one time. Right?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
You can't, and I get so disheartened when I hear about these big pushes for return to the office because not that we value this in our country, but it truly is devastating for the family, what you try to build in your family. The best thing for me that came out of COVID was people really accepting remote work. And it's been a game changer for us and for my relationship with Alana and my productivity, and it's all been great.
And I definitely get on a plane to go do FaceTime. I'm not just here in a bubble, never leaving the house, but to have the flexibility and to be here more often than not because I think about that get down experience, and I was living at work. I was living on those stages. I was living with Baz. I was working till 4:00 in the morning, all of this stuff. And foundationally, there's something in Alana that I think that I wasn't there and she was too little to put the words to it and da da da da da, and now I'm rebuilding that like, "No, I'm here."
Even when I'm not here, I'm here, I'm here. And you're not going to get a handwritten note of, "Here's what's going on with me." You truly have to just be around and catch the stuff, and that's my priority. Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Someone said this to me before I ever had kids. She was a vice president at a brand that I was working at, and I always say this, when someone asks me, "What's the best advice anyone ever gave you?" She said, "Work really, really hard when your kids are young. Because they are going to need you more when they're older." And it feels counterintuitive because when they're babies and they're little toddlers, it feels... You need them, right? You're like, "Oh my God. They're just these little things." You need them and you want to be with them and everything, and yes, she did need you during that time, but right now is the time. Now, if you've now worked so hard and you've made those sacrifices, and now you have this flexibility to be here when you have to be just the sponge, you have to just be here and absorbing what's happening around you.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I had no idea, and I think if someone told me when I was younger, I probably wouldn't have believed them.

Johanna Almstead:
Totally. I didn't believe it.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
But now I'm so clear on how losing Scott or not, planning in that way, where it's like, "Yes, go hard when they're young. Set yourself up financially so that you can loosen the reins." And also, honestly, it's such a fun time.

Johanna Almstead:
I want to be with them.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I think it's the best. It's so fun. The baby time is awesome. I love all of it. But I'm like, "This is such a fun time because you see their passions come out and their friends, there's just so much energy and fiddliness."

Johanna Almstead:
You see stuff they're good at. I'm always amazed at the stuff they're good at that I'm like, "I didn't have anything to do with that. That's just you being good at that."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah. It's so fun.

Johanna Almstead:
It's interesting though, I do think about the time that you took that Baz job. When I think of you as a friend, that feels like when you started to come back to life though as a person.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Oh, for sure.

Johanna Almstead:
And so I think it's interesting that yes, there definitely were sacrifices and there's probably some rebuilding or rezhuzhing that you guys need to do as mother and daughter. I'm not sure you would be the person you are now if you hadn't taken that job and made those sacrifices.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No, 100%.

Johanna Almstead:
Because for those of us who were on this journey with you and trying to hold your hand through this, that was what brought you back to life.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
100%. And that was in so many ways, Alana got to meet Scott's heroes. I have pictures of her with Grandmaster Flash and Kool Herc, and it truly... 100%. It brought me back to life in the sense that it ignited my creativity in my brain, and I felt useful and purposeful and all of these things. But it also was a big calling card for me to establish my own business and get my career in order. And I have pictures, like Alana's sixth birthday was at The Get Down offices.
My coordinator went and picked up flowers and a cake, and then we went to the restaurant around the corner. But again, being near family, my sister-in-law and her kids showed up. Scott's dad, my mother-in-law, all showed up, and we had this sixth birthday-

Johanna Almstead:
While you were working.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
... there were no guests, because... While I was working, during work. So I think for sure, and that's what I explained to Alana, I know it was a sacrifice. And it sucks that you have to make those sacrifices, but because I did that is why I was able to build a business that was able to then attract Issa Rae and be acquired by Raedio and set me up in this way, and who knows what's next, but for sure 100%.

Johanna Almstead:
I have one more question, and then we have our little lightning round of silly questions. Okay?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Okay.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay, so the last question I want because I think this is important one for you is, what's something you once believed about yourself that you have since outgrown?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
There's something that I believe about myself that I am currently reflecting on that I know I have to outgrow, that I'm working on and I need to get better at. And it is being a business leader, and this is outside of music supervision. This is the business of Raedio or that sort of corporate presence, executive presence. I need to work on my executive presence because I always saw myself, and am still very much an outsider who moves the way I move. I don't like to explain myself too much. I like to operate off instinct and all that stuff. But as I am realizing now in this space, I need to accept that I'm responsible for hiring the next generation of X, Y, Z. And I am responsible for communications that are clear and concise and loop in the whole organization, and really just saying to myself like, "Stephanie, you are the leader of this division-"

Johanna Almstead:
You're the boss.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
"... and it's not an invisible job. It is a visible job that requires accountability, corporate presence, reporting." All of these things that I just never saw myself as and don't particularly like, but they are crucial. And I feel very aware that I am at a crossroads where it's like that is the step that I need to take. I need to consistently show up in that executive role.

Johanna Almstead:
Pitch your big girl boss lady pants on.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, I do. I mean, because my company now is, I have six people reporting to me or something. It's a thing.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, it's a real job with a real title. It's a real company. There's a real payroll that happens. There's insurance.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It's a thing. It's like, "I have to take that meeting with the CFO. I got to do it. I got to look at those numbers. I don't want to but I have to." And I just have to get more. It's a job and to show up well in business and succeed, there is a certain... I have to be less emotional about everything that happens. So that is the thing that I'm like, "I'm not there yet," but that's the thing that I thought about myself that I need to let go of to really succeed in the next version of myself.

Johanna Almstead:
It's funny, one of my hardest bosses at my hardest job one time gave me the feedback that I was too emotional. And I was like, "Fuck you." I was very emotional about being too emotional. And I was like, "That's why I'm good at my job. Of course, I need to be emotional. No one could do this job if they didn't have the emotion, blah, blah." And now whatever, 15 years later, I'm like, "You know what? It's okay actually to put a little distance and it's okay to..."

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It is.

Johanna Almstead:
Actually being a consultant is what helped me do it, which was basically like I don't have to be all in all the time with all the feelings and all of it. I can just put a little distance and just treat business like business sometimes.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, it's true. And I think when you're young and you get to work in a career, that is your passion, part of the passion and what's attractive about you is your investment and is your emotional connection to it. But it's not sustainable, and quite frankly, you have to keep some of it for yourself.

Johanna Almstead:
Totally.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
You can't have all of the emotions and all of the passion go towards your work. You really do have to be like, "Wait, some of this is for me and I'm not going to let the ups and downs of the job infringe upon my love of music or whatever."

Johanna Almstead:
I think becoming a mother also, at least for me, helped do that because it was like, "I got to have something left in the tank. I can't empty my tank every moment because I got to go home and actually have a tank that has something in it to deal with these humans and raise them and do the things." You have to leave something for yourself. Okay, well, here's our lightning round of silly questions. Do not overthink them. It's just the first thing that comes to your mind. What is your ultimate comfort food?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
French fries.

Johanna Almstead:
What did you want to be when you grew up?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
On vacation.

Johanna Almstead:
Oh my God, that's the best job ever. I want to be that when I grew up too.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I truly... There was a teacher who, in seventh grade or eighth grade, had us do an exercise of where do you see yourself in the future? And I literally wrote, "On vacation."

Johanna Almstead:
That's the best. Which is funny because you actually are terrible at taking vacations now as an adult, you don't take as many vacations as you should, so I think that's even funnier. You're just saving up for the big one.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
What is something you're really good at?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Being lovey. Giving love.

Johanna Almstead:
Yes you are. What is something you're really bad at?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I'm really bad at being easy on myself.

Johanna Almstead:
Favorite word?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That's tough because I feel like that can change. What's my favorite word? Let's go with gorgeous.

Johanna Almstead:
Gorgeous.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Gorgeous. Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Least favorite word?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
No.

Johanna Almstead:
I like that. Least favorite food? Like deal breaker. No way. Not crossing your lips. You will never eat it.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Probably escargot or, I don't know.

Johanna Almstead:
Best piece of advice you've ever received?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I feel like... Ooh, Jo, that's tough.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah. Okay. We can come back to it.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Oh, I know one. After Scott died, people would say, "Don't make any big decisions for the first year." And I'm honestly think that the fact that I didn't was the beginning of building a good foundation for Alana and I, that I just kept the status quo. Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Slow and steady. If your personality were a flavor, what would it be?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Ooh. My personality was a flavor. I'm going to go with lemon.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Like sweet and tart.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay. You might've answered this with the Pelham Picture House, but what was your first paid job?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
It was babysitting or the Picture House or... Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay, so last supper. You're leaving this body and this earth tomorrow. What are you eating tonight?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That's literally the hardest question.

Johanna Almstead:
Really?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That's literally the hardest.

Johanna Almstead:
This is the easy question.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I just love food. No, I just love food.

Johanna Almstead:
Tell me everything, all those-

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I'm like, are we doing a delicious chicken parm or are we doing roast chicken or... You know what? I would say probably a Mediterranean feast. All of the things, just give me the long table. We start with the burrata and we just work... We finish with the tiramisu and we do all the deliciousness in-between.

Johanna Almstead:
Everything in-between.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
We're not worrying about the calories, and it's Mediterranean. So we've got the Greek, we've got the Italian, we've got the Portuguese, we've got the [inaudible 01:19:21], we've got it all.

Johanna Almstead:
All of it.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
We're doing the whole southern coast of Europe.

Johanna Almstead:
I am into that. I feel like I might even need that.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah, we're going from Portugal, Spain, all of the things.

Johanna Almstead:
All the things.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Okay. Have you ever had a moment in your life when you've had to eat your words?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I mean, probably. Definitely. I feel like that's a good question to ask Sarah, who works with me because she's the one... or even Alana. Alana will for sure have the answer. I have selective memory, so I can't-

Johanna Almstead:
So everything you've ever said is perfect?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Exactly.

Johanna Almstead:
Where's your happy place?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Oh, on my sofa or in my bed.

Johanna Almstead:
What do you wear when you feel like you need to take on the world? A big meeting or a big event?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I don't know. I feel like you need to come in and style me because I've been having trouble with that exact thing lately. I love a hoodie and I love some hoops, but when we're talking about my-

Johanna Almstead:
Boss lady.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
... transitioning into corporate boss lady stuff, I need a new uniform. But usually my uniform is a hoodie and hoops and cool jeans and cool sneakers, but I need to switch it up. So we can talk about that later.

Johanna Almstead:
I feel like this is a really, if you build it will come, it's like if you've got the clothes, you're going to feel like embodying that corporate badass bitch even more.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
I agree so much, and I'm looking on the sites and I'm like, "What is it? Where is it? Where's the vibe that is this, but elevated?" Yeah, that's elevated and commanding, but still feels like me is something that I'm working on because I couldn't agree more that I feel like that is dressing the part, is playing the part and being the part. And so yeah, I'm actually speaking at the Variety Marketing Summit in LA in a couple weeks with Issa and Talitha, who runs Color... All of the heads, and I'm like, "I need an outfit."

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, you do.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
So we can talk about that.

Johanna Almstead:
We need to go shopping.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah, I feel like it's important. It's like the Emperor's new clothes. You got to put it on. Then you feel like all of a sudden you embody, you walk different, you feel different. What's your go-to coping mechanism on a bad day?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Good question. It's probably zoning out to some housewives or a great show. It's just zoning out to TV to just be like, "Ugh." That's the probably quickest one. If I'm on a health kick or really being my best self, it's taking a walk. I'm a big walktaker for solving most of life's problems.

Johanna Almstead:
And last question, what is one thing for sure right now in this moment?

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
That I love my Pinor.

Johanna Almstead:
Yeah. Well, thank you Stephanie Diaz-Matos. I'm so grateful to you for spending your time with me and for taking a chance on me-

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Of course.

Johanna Almstead:
... and for sharing your story because I think it's going to be really, really important for people who are listening to hear your story too.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yeah. This was so fun, and we have to do it again without the gear.

Johanna Almstead:
Yes.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
But IRL.

Johanna Almstead:
With actual food and wine, not just talking about it.

Stephanie Diaz-Matos:
Yes, exactly.

Johanna Almstead:
Thank you all for joining us. I'm so grateful that you guys keep tuning in and listening to our stories. If you've enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, subscribe, like it, comment on it, share it with your friends if you think they'll like it. Also, follow us on Instagram @eatmywordsthepodcast. TikTok, please follow us also @eatmywords_thepodcast. Drop us a line, tell us what you are cooking up at your house. Tell us what you are thinking about and come back and join us again. Thank you.